Zinedine Zidane's Top 10 Possible Explanations at Today's Press Conference for Head-Butting Marco Materazzi:
10. "Chicks dig guys with red cards."
9. "I was fixing a crease in his jersey."
8. "He hadn't called in days."
7. "I'll have you know that putting the smack down on a mouthy asshole is an effective treatment for baldness."
6. "What would you do if a sweaty Italian pinched your titty?"
5. "I had no idea a billion people were watching."
4. "He ridiculed me for being last in the phone book."
3. "Wayne Rooney dared me."
2. "It was exciting to live out the dreams of pussy soccer player haters around the world."
1. "I aimed too high."
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