Ron Paul II

I'm not talking about Rand or the pope. I give you RonPaul ReaganRyan, the shapeshifting Gipperbot who has come to complete the GOP's destiny!

Op-odds and sods

So Frank Rich has departed the The New York Times for smaller pastures, leaving one wondering who is to replace him on the hallowed—and increasingly right-leaning—op-ed pages of the Grey Lady. Hm...

America must look evil if it looks like Obama

So Republicans like to say that the difference between Obama and Osama is a little B.S. Let's take a look at some of the GOP's own B.S.

Check out this post on Brad Friedman's site. It's all from a local Republican elections mailer sent out in Virginia. Let me preface this by acknowledging Brad as one of the best and most important bloggers/investigative journos out there.

The back of the envelope features a pic (above the words "AMERICA MUST LOOK EVIL / IN THE EYE / AND NEVER FLINCH") that Brad says is Obama, which ties in with the reference to the "Democrats who want to control Washington" line inside the mailer, and would also be a natural deduction given the mailer's design color... brown, like Obama's skin such as in this photo.

However, that's not Obama. It's Osama bin Laden. Notice how the original photo has been tinted a la the infamous O.J. Simpson photo on the cover of Time.

I showed the image to a colleague of mine who also thought it was Obama at first, no doubt overtly influenced by the sepia tint. By his and Brad's--and surely the intended recipients'--erroneous IDs, a subconscious connection is made, which is exactly what is intended.

Clever trick, righty ratfuckers. And an old one too. You bastards never quit, do you?

McCain booed by own supporters

After repeatedly allowing planted GOP ratfuckers and assorted riff-raff to shout crap about Obama like "TRAITOR!" and "KILL HIM!" at his rallies, Sen. McCain seems to be losing control of the loons his campaign has driven into a desperate fervor. He even yanks the mic away from some old woman terrified that an "Arab" might get elected. He's starting to sound like Anakin Skywalker after he got Mace Windu offed: "What have I done, my friends?"

I expect one of his lackeys will be on Fox soon explaining that those weren't boos, they were joyous calls of "Magoo!"

GOP ought to declare War on Error

It no jocke! Despite the hapless Republicans being roused these last few days by the fiery, fuehrery speeches of "Sarah Barracuda" Palin and John "Bushmastered" McCain et al., the GOP still finds ways to embarrass itself at its own convention to the delight of the world.

For instance, Sen. McCain appeared before a giant photo of what his campaign apparently thought was Walter Reed Army Medical Center, site of a shocking exposé of poor living conditions for wounded veterans that subsequently turned into a cleanup effort/photo-op for Pres. Bush and the Republicans.


Unfortunately, the building shown in the massive picture is actually Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, California. Oopsies. (TPM additionally notes that the building was used by West Wing too; a brilliantly subtle jab at Obama then? Doubtful...)

The bumblin', stumblin' Team Magoo have also taken to using the Heart song "Barracuda" at events but apparently forgot to ask the band's permission. Heart's decidedly Democratic members have since had a cease and desist notice issued to the McCain/Palin camp.

More examples of conservagaffes:





Tip o' the hat to all the emailers sending me more goofs.

Human Events Thompson nod a non-event

Just over a week ago, the news that the conservative propaganda clearinghouse known as Human Events heartily endorsed Fred Thompson for President barely made a ripple outside the righty blogosphere.

That's probably because Drop Dead Fred, despite his ample frame, has barely made a ripple himself in the primary pool thus far. He's limping along in 4th or 5th place in Nevada right now, beaten once again by Romney, McCain, even the relentless Ron Paul. He might get a boost in South Carolina, where his demonizing brand of redneck swagger unfortunately seems to resonate. Perhaps that's what Human Events is banking on.

Founded in 1944, the magazine has developed a safe Net haven for a murder of right-wing crows, including Newt Gingrich, Bob Novak, Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Buchanan, and the Vladimir Zhirinovsky of the West, Ann Coulter.

This blog has previously noted Mr. Novak's peculiar obsession with Thompson as far back as May 2007, but it was muddled in August when Novak revealed that he'd actually like to see Ron Paul as president. What gives? Maybe Novak has a nameless minion ghostwriting for him too.

At any rate, Thompson coulda used the Human Events nod before Iowa; he's been beaten like a gong in most of the races thus far. Why a late endorsement for a seeming loser? Something Rovian sinister in the works behind the scenes? Will zombie Ronald Reagan rise from the grave to stump for his political descendant? Are Romney, McCain, etc. all going to commit campaign-dooming gaffes in days to come? Is Thompson going to tear open his shirt at the next debate to reveal bulging pecs and a colorful cape?

Maybe it's simply because, as Jay Cost observed in The Wall Street Journal, "Human Events is no longer the significant intellectual force it was three decades ago."

Ouch.

Further accidental humor was evidenced in a recent email distributed by Human Events that is essentially a fundraising pitch for their man Thompson, penned by his campaign manager, Bill Lacy. At the very top of the email appears, "The following is a paid political advertisement. Please note, it does not necessarily reflect the editorial positions of Human Events."

UPDATE 19 NOV 2008: No SC'boost; it was more like a SC'boom. Time for Uncle Hulka to bail.

Million-Years McCain and the answer to a stupid question

While CNN et al. were busy going ga-ga over Mike Huckabee's trouncing of Mitt Romney et al. on the GOP side, Barack Obama was steadily putting a similar distance between himself and the rest of the Democrats in a state that is almost 95% white. Hopefully this at last provides a definitive answer to the dumbest question still being asked by corporate media: "Is America ready for a black president?" Yes, America is ready. Are the media? Are the other Democrats in the race? And for that matter, is the black Democratic establishment? You'll all be left behind. Get with the times.

Here is Obama's compelling Iowa victory speech.



And while the caucus thingie was going on, GOP contender John McCain, who about tied for third among Republicans in Iowa, had something quite startling to say about Iraq while campaigning in New Hampshire today. He interrupted someone recalling that President Bush envisions U.S. forces in Iraq for 50 more years with, "Maybe a hundred [years]." He continued, "That's fine with me, I hope that would be fine with you, if we maintain a presence in a very volatile part of the world where al-Qaeda is training and equipping and recruiting and motivating people every single day." Video below. Notice that "Independent Democrat" Sen. Joe Lieberman is standing behind him.



David Corn asked McCain about his assertion afterward and says McCain told him American troops "could be in Iraq for 'a thousand years' or 'a million years,' as far as he was concerned." Hey, why not shoot for a googolplex, Senator? You gotta think big.

UPDATE 04 JAN 2008: It's up to ten million years now, per the AP.

ADD'L ADD'L 04 JAN 2008: McCain's also hip to having Lieberman "play a part" in his cabinet, "particularly in national security issues."

Has anyone told Henry Waxman and John Conyers about this?

The poor chairs of the House Oversight and Judiciary Committees have been fruitlessly serving subpoenas on various cretins in the Bush administration and the GOP, but all have come to naught.

They've been wasting their time. All they need to do to get those tough questions answered is cough up $600 and sign up quickly for this little pajama party hosted by Bob Novak:

The Ultimate (Secret) Source

It isn't often that you can meet the decision makers of the nation in such an intimate setting. Don't miss out, sign up today.

This is your chance to get frank answers and insight into the state of our nation and economy.

Remember, only 70 people are allowed to attend. Seats are filling up, so reserve your seat today!

Novak further brags in his latest exclusive Evans-Novak Political Report:

This is your chance to join Bob Novak and 70 other prominent insiders at the nation's most exclusive private-room political summit. You'll probably never again have this opportunity to engage in direct conversation with the top political powerbrokers and government policy shapers... offering you forecasts and insights that will directly affect your profits, decisions, and power.

What's more, Bob Novak's iron-clad OFF THE RECORD policy is why past participants have gotten real answers even from media-wary policy makers like:

Dick Cheney, Vice President
Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of State
Al Gore, former Vice President
Sen. Harry Reid, Senate Majority Leader
Ken Mehlman, former RNC Chairman
Steve Forbes, President & CEO, Forbes, Inc.
George Tenet, former Director of CIA

This secret event is rarely publicized -- don't miss your chance to attend. Once all 70 seats are reserved, the doors close to all outsiders. Please don't wait.

Incidentally, it'll cost ya a few extra clams to bring your kid brother along.

Novak claims GOP voters have high standards, which still doesn't explain Patrick McHenry

"Republicans are always held to a higher standard by their own voters," asserts Bob Novak in his latest insider newsletter, adding that GOP voters "tend to place special value on family issues."

In making the claim whilst comparing wickdippin' Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) to the "embattled" Rep. William Jefferson, a Democrat, Novak doesn't explain how such high Republican voter standards could've let Vitter into office in the first place. After all, as Novak himself writes, "this is not the first time Vitter's morals have been called into question," including during his run for the Senate. "His enemies brought up old accusations that he had had a year-long affair with a prostitute in the French Quarter of New Orleans," says Novak, adding that "tales about Vitter's behavior abound in Louisiana."

This so-called "higher standard" Novak associates with GOP voters also seemed to have been waived while Republicans kept lowlifes like Newt Gingrich, Dan Burton, Tom DeLay, Richard Pombo, John Doolittle, Tom Feeney etc. in positions of power.

"Democrats will have lots of fun with this," Novak cynically declares. "They may not be able to win the governor's race, but they could make it more competitive by using Vitter to embarrass Jindal." Not sure I understand this; from what I've heard, Bobby Jindal is a good man and a worthy candidate to govern Louisiana. Why would Democrats engage in such sordid political shenanigans? Oh, I forgot; this is Louisiana we're talking about.

Novak also humorously reveals his own ridiculously low standards by asserting, quite soberly, that Sen. Vitter "cannot step down right now even if he wants to, because he would be replaced by a Democrat." Egad. Better to leave an ineffective serial adulterer in office than have a Democrat replace him!

And speaking of ineffective, the biggest waste of space in Congress, Rep. Patrick McHenry, for the second week in a row gets a consoling shoulder to cry on from Novak. McHenry, who somehow keeps getting re-elected even though he's constantly making a fool of himself, hilariously lost an earmark vote in the House recently after having ripped Democrats for their own earmark bills. "Democrats punished McHenry with a vindictive chuckle," sympathizes Novak. Curiously, he notes that "searches of Lexis-Nexis and Google News suggest that no one -- and we mean absolutely no one -- has picked up on the story of [McHenry] and the embarrassing fight he lost to keep an earmark in his district." Hm, maybe Bob oughta check out that fancy new gadget called the blogosphere, where the story was duly noted last week.

GOP quietly giddy about New Orleans' black diaspora

So Bob Novak snidely suggests in his latest political report.  Talking about upcoming US Senate races, Novak has this to say about Louisiana, which he feels is the GOP's "best pickup opportunity" in 2008:

Republicans were already on the upswing here before Hurricane Katrina, and at the local level, the villains in the story of Katrina were nearly all Democrats. The election of 2007 could be promising for Republicans at the state level.

If Rep. Bobby Jindal (R) wins the race for governor this fall -- and indications are that he will -- then the governor and one senator will be Republicans. Of course part of the thinking, voiced publicly by no one, is that the state's black population in New Orleans largely disappeared with Hurricane Katrina, significantly diminishing the base vote for Landrieu.

Gotta love those Acts of God, especially when the Lord smiles on the Grand Old Party and smites the swarthy sons of Canaan.  My question is, who would be so cynical, so selfish and indifferent, that they'd consider the still-suffering Big Easy as an opportunity to be exploited politically?  Whose shameless "thinking" is this?

Perhaps subtly answering these questions, Novak writes in his very next line, "There is no obvious GOP candidate ready to step forward. White House advisor Karl Rove has been urging..." (snip)

Of course, Karl Rove!  The master spinner himself who--unlike his boss in the Oval Office--isn't afraid to flaunt his detachment from, and glaring insensitivity to, black people.  Novak underscores this with a most telling parapraxis in his final sentence on the matter; read into what you will: "No one will be worrying too much about this race until after the governor's race is over."

Freudenthalian slip

Ruh roh, another fundie poseur doc in the Senate.

Republican John Barrasso, a surgeon and conservative Wyoming legislator, became the country's newest U.S. senator Friday, replacing the late Craig Thomas.

Barrasso ... left no doubt that he will be a conservative voice in Washington.

"I believe in limited government, lower taxes, less spending, traditional family values, local control and a strong national defense," the orthopedic surgeon and state senator from Casper wrote in his application.

He said he has "voted for prayer in schools, against gay marriage and have sponsored legislation to protect the sanctity of life."

Damn, and we'd just gotten rid of Bill Frist too.

Democratic Gov. Dave Freudenthal said, "While I don't intend to indulge the speculation on why I made this decision, I will say that I hope I made the right choice."

I'm guessing his other choices were Lynne Cheney and Charles Manson.

Novak: '08 Democratic sweep of Presidency, Senate, House is 'probable'

Sometimes it's hard to tell, when our old buddy Bob Novak scuttlebutts, whether he's been interacting with actual people or talking to his fist like Señor Wences.  And then, if there's good reason to believe he's not winging it on his own, you have to figure out if he's sharing legitimate insider analyses or just passing on Karl Rove's latest crateful of fat red herring to hapless readers.  That's what makes him fun to peruse.

If we got no-bullshit Bob in his latest political newsletter, then Republicans are in for an even more miserable 2008: "The private outlook for '08 by Republican leaders is gloomy -- not a Democratic blowout, but probable Democratic wins for President, Senate and House, with the best GOP chance being in the race for President.  It may be premature, but Republican insiders are already talking about the outlook for 2010."

Something that Novak himself has been talking about non-stop is Fred "Uncle Hulka" Thompson.  Perhaps aware that he's been a Thompson PR machine of late, Novak now asks aloud, "How viable is Thompson as a candidate?"  He writes:

Republicans may want to be cautious about giving frontrunner status to someone who has not been tested in a single debate and has not won a single difficult election. Thompson is "the man who was not there" -- he is where he is because no one like him existed in the field before now. He reaps the benefits of the political vacuum on the GOP side.

Then Novak dons his purple fedora and gold medallions and promptly starts pimping his man by taking jabs at the Democrats for squawking (thanks to the press) that Thompson was a power lobbyist for nearly twenty years:

The Democratic National Committee is evidently afraid of Thompson, or else its operatives at least perceive enough fear among Democrats that they can be frightened by him into giving money. The DNC sent out a fundraising appeal that demonizes the senator-turned-actor for his lobbying career. "In the real world, Thompson has made a fortune in a decades-long career as a Washington lobbyist," reads the e-mail, referring to him as "lobbyist Thompson."

Novak also predicts that NYC mayor Mike Bloomberg could go independent, the news of which had already made the rounds of the blogosphere last night.  He foresees a potential Bloomberg run for the White House in '08 with Oklahoma Democrat David Boren sharing the ticket:

According to New York political sources, the two discussed a role Boren might play in an independent Bloomberg campaign for President -- generating speculation about a Bloomberg-Boren ticket. In introducing Bloomberg for his commencement speech, Boren praised the mayor's record stabilizing his city's budget and strengthening its economy after the 9/11 attack.

Buried in the middle of his latest report, Novak also makes a striking observation about America's gas problem:

When it comes to energy, the public is upset over rising gasoline prices -- not the failure of oil companies to invest in alternative sources of energy. U.S. demand for oil is at a record high, and gas prices are close to a record high, meaning that there is no public clamor for an energy bill that does not increase domestic production of oil.

He also remarks that "the clamor for ethanol, gasified coal, biofuels, solar and wind power comes almost exclusively from special interests that stand to gain from tax provisions and are otherwise economically unworkable," a clear, Cheneyian "fuck yourself" to poor Ed Begley, Jr.

Pelosi a slave of moderate Dems: Novak

GOP Chatty Cathy Bob Novak says that Nancy Pelosi isn't a left-wing loon at all... she's in fact beholden to a handful of Blue Dog (i.e., moderate) Democrats.  Count Novakula writes in his latest newsletter:

[Pelosi] is painted by Republicans as a left-wing extremist, but the truth is that the left wing of House Democrats complain privately that she is far too cautious. They grumble that nothing is being accomplished in Congress because Pelosi is far too attentive to 20 or so moderates in the Democratic caucus -- especially those who overturned Republicans last year in marginal districts.

I wonder if maybe Novak is miffed that Nancy won't go nuts and unleash Kucinich, Conyers, and Waxman to impeach Bush & Cheney in a Dem feeding frenzy, because that will set the stage for the inevitable revenge impeachment proceedings against President Hillary Clinton.  That's what Novak and all the neocon chimps want: an excuse to go apeshit in '09.  Henry Hyde made it plain why the wingers went after Bubba in '98.  I think Pelosi—to the bitterness of grassrooters slobbering for justice, and the chagrin of conservatives spoiling for a rumble—will bide her time and let the Shrub and his minions be to avoid that whole juvenile retaliation bullshit.

Novak also keeps up his rah-rah'ing for GOP White House hopeful Fred Thompson, this time by taking an easy, steaming dump on the faltering Sen. John McCain.

While [McCain] claims that everything is "fine" in his bid for the Republican presidential nomination, events strongly suggest otherwise. The former frontrunner is now in deep trouble. With respect to the positive signs a presidential campaign can point to at this early stage -- fundraising, national polls, state polls, endorsements -- McCain finds himself almost empty-handed.

Then Novak whips out some amusing metaphors to describe Uncle Hulka and the GOP also-rans: "If Thompson is the charging bear, McCain is the slowest of the three campers fleeing him -- the most likely to be devoured."

And you thought Republicans didn't do drugs.

Fred "Uncle Hulka" Thompson fan club grows like a rampant tumor

A few days ago I mentioned how Bob Novak was hyping Fred Thompson as the hottest candidate in the race for the GOP nomination, and with just cause: Karl Rove has been sticking his electoral feelers out via one of his monkeyboys, and as everyone knows, Karl's sweaty touch is golden.  He's also got his fingers in the Giuliani campaign, but methinks with all of Rudy's dirt and skeletons, he'll be relegated to the VP slot on a ticket headed by Reagan-Bot Thompson.

The lovefest for Thompson continues, with Novak again penning a fellatiop-ed talking up the former senator from Tennessee.  Novak needs no Viagra at his late age as mere thoughts of Thompson's booming monotone are enough to give him a raging hard-on: "...Thompson at the dinner table confirmed the widespread perception inside the party of his potential to be an extraordinary candidate."

Mike Allen of 'The Politico' sings of "a stream of former Bush-Cheney aides and supporters who are signing on with Thompson, in some cases quietly."  He also just happens to mention that GOP heavyweight talking head Mary Matalin "will be advising Thompson."  Without pay, even.

Even Agence-France Presse - a foreign wire service - gushes, "Thompson looms over Republican debate."

To top it all off, to really convince you that Fred Thompson is the Rove-picked successor to George W. Bush, who will (if elected) pardon the whole gang of criminals in one of his first acts as president in 2009, remember that Thompson feels Scooter Libby got the shaft and isn't ashamed to cry it from the mountaintop:

Mr. Thompson, who has viewed Mr. Libby’s prosecution as a severe miscarriage of justice, told Fox News recently that if he were president, he would pardon Mr. Libby, the former top aide to Vice President Dick Cheney who was convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice in the Valerie Plame Wilson case.

Now that he is on the verge of declaring his presidential bid, Mr. Thompson may have the opportunity to do just that.

Springing someone from the slammer would be an unusual presidential platform. But Mr. Thompson, a former senator from Tennessee and Washington lobbyist, has been adamant that Mr. Libby was the victim of an overzealous prosecutor, wrongheaded justice and a bungling C.I.A. "It makes me mad as the devil just to think about it," he has said.

Keep in mind that Thompson didn't even know Libby until midway through Scooty's court ordeal.  Continuing:

Championing the Libby cause could further endear Mr. Thompson to some conservatives. It would also carry obvious political risks, but Mr. Thompson has said he doesn’t care.

"He doesn't care."  Hm.  Wonder what else a President Thompson wouldn't care about...