"During the Rapture, can I trade for a ticket to Valhalla? It just sounds cooler." - Chris Dashiell"You will not read a more dazzling book this year than David Eagleman's "Sum". If you read it and aren't enchanted I will eat 40 hats." - Stephen Fry
"When I promised to eat 40 hats if you weren't enchanted by 'Sum', I hope were aware that 'hat' means 'cashew nut' in a rare Papuan dialect." - Stephen Fry
"I wonder if someone is spiking Glenn Beck's warm-bed-time-milk-like-mommy-used-to-make with massive doses of LSD?" - Larisa Alexandrovna
"Wow. Even I HEARD the sonic boom of the Space Shuttle. Welcome home guys and gals. You're our heroes!" - Marlee Matlin
"Pat Buchanan is NBC News' Racism Czar." - Oliver Willis
"You know the worlds gone mad when blacks wear plaid." - Jamie Foxx
"On the road again. 40hour drive to Banff, Alberta, CA...the type of drive that makes you reconsider your fear of flying." - Wynton Marsalis
"Stay out of my way, people I don't know. Acquaintances, pray I remember meeting you.... Why? It's #punchastrangermonday" - Brian Posehn
"I bought the new Whitney Houston album for the cricket in my garage. I reckon that makes us just about even." - Christopher Kutcher
"Before heading to bed tonight, I am going to do a 'dirty dance' in my basement in honor of Patrick Swayze. That man was fine. God bless him" - Donna Brazile
"Imagine how fucked up it feels to have Obama PERSONALLY dis you? It's like the closest thing to having Jesus Christ call you a faggot." - Ron Cortés
"With ACORN out of the way, conservatives can get back to the hard work of helping poor people." - Matt Duss
"i wonder if matt drudge is sad that glenn beck has replaced him as america's assignment editor" - Duncan Black
"Google Trends #2: 'kate gosselin new hair.' I keep hitting refresh, waiting for 'on fire'" - James Lileks
"Cons seem to be most terrified of things they can't spell. Czars; fascism; Barack. Let's have Zbigniew Brzezinski kick their asses." - Michael Lazzaro
"I wish this scanner had a soul, so that it could rot in hell forever." - Jonathan Coulton
"Labor Dept. Plans to Reclassify Unemployed as 'Bloggers'" - Andy Borowitz
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